Good news first - I got the job - and not only did I get the job, but there's an opportunity to transfer to their London office after 3 months - now you tell me how perfect would THAT be, given my plans discussed last week! I start a week on Monday, so I have all of next week to prepare, oh and also to write my next mastersmessay, all 2,000 words of it!
Now moving on to the news that makes my belly do somersaults.. tomorrow i am supposedly seeing M for coffee... to say that he doesnt seem very enthused would be an understatement. He'll probably cancel. I am bricking it, I think we all know it's not going to be good news, or a very pleasant conversation, but at the same time I know it has to be done (closure??) no matter how shit I'm going to feel afterwards. I actually felt sick earlier thinking about it. I like him SO much. In the car I had Damien Rice's album 'O' on, it got to the end of track 3 and I was crying:
And so it is / Just like you said it would be / Life goes easy on me / Most of the time / And so it is / The shorter story / No love, no glory / No hero in her skies
I can't take my eyes off you / I can't take my eyes off you /I can't take my eyes...
And so it is / Just like you said it should be / We'll both forget the breeze / Most of the time / And so it is / The colder water / The blower's daughter / The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off you / I can't take my eyes off you / I can't take my eyes...
Did I say that I loathe you? / Did I say that I want to / Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off you / I can't take my mind off you / I can't take my mind off you / I can't take my mind off you / I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
And it's so true - I can't take my mind off him. I don't want to leave it all behind. But I think tomorrow, my hand's gonna be forced. It's gonna be a horrible conversation....
I really know how your feeling although in my case its like the opposite way around. He came back from his holiday in London (of which I didn't invite me) and said he thinks he's going to move down there and get a better job. Now he hasn';t mentioned breaking it off, just that there won't be many weekends down to Durham, I said that's fine, obviously hard but it gives me the excuse to have breaks to London, he responded positively to this. However this is also what happened last time, he said I could come down but in the end his move to London was one of the reasons for breaking up.
Anyway the point of it was that distance would be hard but if you like the person enough, the first time in my case I think it was just an excuse to break up. i'm still not sure why. However the job will be great and whatever happens at least you have that and a new life to look forward to. Besides, I'm told there are many nice looking men in London lol.