It's been a few days since I posted - went down to London to see some friends and have a look round some areas with a view to living in them - I think I am going for clapham but that's a different story....
Right now I feel completely sick and awful, I haven't heard from M since a brief chat on msn on sunday before I left to go to London. Since then, nothing (I haven't contacted him either). Anyway I get in today from a day out with my mum and I see on Facebook he's created an event for this gig on Friday, one which we'd spoken about and he'd invited me to before easter. Well, he's invited literally everyone except for me and so that for me is the signal that no, I am probably never going to hear from him again. I don't understand. I need help understanding. Why string me along and say and do those things if really he just wasn't bothered? Why didn't he say something a long time ago? Why would you do that to someone? And then finally, if you DO want to end it with someone, why this blanking?? Why didn't he say something last Friday? I even said to him the words: is there anything you want to talk about, and he said NO!
Anyway cos of all these thoughts in my head i sent him an email an hour ago.... "Are we not speaking?"
I want a reply.... even though I know that is very naive and stupid of me! I just can't tell you how sick I am feeling right now, in the pit of my stomach. It's really awful.
25/04/07 @ 20:30