So, it wasn't him, it wasn't that he 'needed time to figure things out', he didn't 'need space', it wasn't that he 'wasn't ready for all this', he obviously didn't 'still have issues' with the ex...

No.

He wanted a girlfriend.

He just didn't want ME.

Arrrggghh.  ok.  to get out of the way (ie to document them)  Started new job yesterday (Weds), they all seem very nice, I didn't have much to do seeing as my email/IT system isn't up and running yet, but all very friendly.  I can't really complain, given the stupid wage they're offering.  Coincidentally, the london manager was there on my first day; he said there is a role in london being held open for me for the 3 months, no pressure, but assuming all goes well, it's there if i want it.  thanked him and fingers crossed  it all works out well.

ok ok to the bit i need your help with.  went on a date tonight,  firstly i thought he seemed a bit gay.  which is ironic considering last post lol.  but that's not the point.  the point is i sat there comparing how 'inferior' he was to M.  seriously, in looks, they're a world apart.  When he kissed me, I tried to pretend it was M kissing me so softly and holding my face in his hands.  (even tho the make believe didn't really work).  I think about M every hour.  I know it's very sad but i check to see if he is on msn, facebook, etc.  Since our 'there's nothing left to leave' chat on thurs, I've 'spoken' to him once, on msn, on monday evening,  Strangely he initiated the conversation, but then throughout, he wasn't very chatty.  Did he say hello cos of a guilty conscience?  Who knows. All I know is that I wonder what he is up to, where he is, if he is seeing someone, literally every hour of every day.  Does this mean I love/d him??

(Gay?) date guy has just texted... "Thanks for a fantabulous evening dahling.  Must do it again soon". I've just replied, "Everyone who says 'must do it again soon' knows that that phrase is bullshit.  Thanks for a good evening though."