That's right. Been on the phone for two hours. I kinda knew it was coming. I said can we talk about this on Thursday please, face to face. He said he'd rather not because he's been thinking about it all day and had to say it. I said well I've been at work all day, we're 100 miles away, I'd really rather not, but it didn't stop him.
He said there was nothing he could really say without it being a cliche. He's not ready for a relationship. I said it sounded to me like he has had so much on his plate over the last few weeks and that I was just the pressure valve that has gone off. I said that over this summer with him losing his grandad, the holiday where he couldn't wait to get home, the first term back at uni where he's not been getting on with the housemates, I have done nothing but been there and supported him. I said was it the pressure of trying to fit my visits in alongside everything else like american football and uni work etc? He said no not really. It was just that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I said but you've been thinking all summer about whether you were ready, you came back from Italy saying how much you'd missed me and you wanted to make it work. Why didn't you say something before? Why didn't you say something this weekend? He said he had tried, he had 'perservered'.
He said what else do you want me to say? I said tell me you think I'm fabulous and you want to see me. He said Well I'm glad you know you're fabulous. I said, don't give me that, if you REALLY thought that of me, you'd have done whatever to make it work.
I said I think you're incredible, I'd do anything for you. But, clearly, anything is not enough.
24/10/07 @ 00:00