I have my first drum lesson this Sunday!

So... Where are we now? Two weeks since THAT phone call. I don't really know why I'm writing this, it's not as if there's much to report, I guess you could say it's cathartic! Since then I have...

*Gone back home for my best friend's birthday night out. It was a good night except I got tired really early because the night before I'd...
*Gone out with an old uni friend for drinks, oh and how we drinked! Ended up missing the last tube so I stayed at his (nothing happened people! well ok kisses and hugs!)
*Decided I'm going to go ahead with my dream of playing the drums. I already play the sax and piano but have always wanted to try the drums, so I thought, why not? I can afford an electronic (aka silent-to-please-the-neighbours) kit now so i'm just researching what's available and trying to book a lesson somewhere.

I've spoken to M quite a few times on text and a few phone calls too. It does feel though like he's patiently 'doing me a favour' by being in contact; whereas I'm doing it hoping to get a declaration of 'Whoops I was wrong I want you back!' Which clearly is not going to happen, I know. In fact things got a bit terse last night, I said I missed him and (glutton for punishment I know), asked if he felt the same. He refused to answer the question. Point blank. He even said things like 'I don't want to have to be blunt, please stop asking me things like that, I don't want to talk about it.' Why doesn't he want to talk about it? If there's no wrong or right answer to the question then why can't he just be truthful? If he hasn't missed me and he's the happiest he's ever been and he wishes he never met me then hell just say it! It would make my 'getting over you' process much easier!

I still think London's not for me. On Saturday there's the big fireworks show over the Thames. I'd love to go, but who with? They say 500,000 people will be lining the streets. Yet even in that half a million people I'd still be the loneliest one there. God this time of year's probably the worst one to be dumped hey!