While I don't really want to get too deep and metaphorical here, the last few days of glorious sun seem to me to be a reminder that life goes on, change happens, every ending means a new beginning etc etc. I spent yesterday picnicking in Regents' park with a couple of friends, and while honestly my mind was never far from J, I did enjoy myself and managed to make it home in one piece having A- consumed an awful lot of alcohol over the course of the day yet B- not made any witching hour phone calls or texts to J due to having imbibed said alcohol, nor C- breaking down in tears. So I think that is progress.

Also as mentioned previously, J had come back to London for a night out with the gang last night and I honestly expected some kind of message from him (when you've had a few you contact the person on your mind and all that), but no texts or calls appeared. So I guess his silence speaks volumes. It's sad because even though it was only for a few months, I learnt an AWFUL lot from that relationship; for the first time I think I acted like an mature adult as opposed to a clingy paranoid girlfriend, and I am going to allow myself to be proud of that fact. Because after a few of the lying cheaters I have had in the past, I learnt the lesson that no all men are NOT the same, and punishing the new one for the mistakes of the old one is neither fair nor necessary. J helped me to see that. While I don't condone or appreciate how he ended it - by sending that email he is a coward to say the least - thankfully we had not spent so much time together that it is going to take me forever and a day to get over it. I'd like to think that at some point in the future, he will realise what we could have had, and what I was so committed to having, and wish that he could have it back. But by then of course it will be too late...

I realised yesterday that my next eight weekends are already booked in. Some effort hey! Whether it's a girly holiday to the Greek isles with my best friend, going home for some school-reunion nights out, day courses for the masters, London drinks, or going on some sailing weekends in the Solent in order to get my competent crew certificate, I have got a lot to look forward to over the next few months. Sadly before any of those can take place, I have a 2,000 word essay to write for my course. The deadline was on Friday (oops) so I had better get cracking. Is it possible to do in a day? When the sun is trying to tempt me outside?! There's only one way to find out....