...How sometimes you can find out one piece of information about someone, and it changes completely what you think of them, and your feelings towards them?
I was going to write about my sailing weekend, how I had seen J at his flat to pick up my stuff, what had been said, how I felt, what had happened later on.
But an hour ago I stumbled across a certain profile on a chat site. Oh ok I didn't stumble, I was looking, I didn't know what for, or even if there was anything to find, but I just had a hunch. And once more this Aquarius intuition proved correct because there in front of me was J's profile - sleazy, sad and more than a little pathetic. And not only was he advertising his wares to people in his new city, the page showed he had actually been an active member for over a year. I'm convinced he must have been using it while we were together.
Reading through it, at first it felt like my heart was aching, as if it was bruised. But then I started to realise that actually, despite his break-up emails making out it had all been my fault and how I wasn't the one for him, our split was really nothing to do with me. How can anyone be expected to have a successful relationship when one party is not giving it their all?
And so now, as I look at his profile, I can't help but feel how pathetic it is that a man of 32 feels he has to do this kind of thing. All of a sudden the longing feeling goes, I see him for what he really is, and no longer do I miss him.
I pity him.
xxx
28/05/08 @ 14:15